What are boundaries?

Personal boundaries are designed to protect and honor important parts of our lives.  They are created to clarify what are acceptable and unaccpetable behaviors from others.  Just as a fence protects and preserves our real property, so should personal boundaries protect our personal selves.

Your Time

In today's world tine is an important and valuable asset.  We often feel we never have enough time to focus on what's really important in our lives yet time is often what we least protect through effective boundaries.

Your Emotions

Your emotions are where you your love and caring come from.  This should be well-protected.  Often, people in our lives may say or do harmful things that can damage our emotions and our hearts.

Your Energy

Your energy is the well-spring from which you function.  This energy can come from many sources; your "alone time", your inner peace, activities that invigorate you, etc.

Your Personal Values

Anything is your life that is important to you such as family, needs, personal values, etc. can be areas that can benefit from effective boundaries.

What are Personal Boundaries?

Personal boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves with relationships.  A person with heathy boundaries can say "no" to others when they want to, but they are also comfortable opening themsleves up to intimacy and close relationships.

Types of Boundaries







How to Establish Healthier Boundaries

FIRST: Identify the symptoms of your boundaries currently being or having been violated or ignored.

SECOND: Identify the irrational or unhealthy thinking and beliefs by which you allow your boundaries to be ignored or violated.

THIRD: Identify new, more rational, healthy thinking and beliefs which will encourage you to change your behaviors so that you build healthy boundaries between you and others.

FOURTH: Identify new behaviors you need to add to your healthy boundary building behaviors repertoire in order to sustain healthy boundaries between you and others.

FIFTH: Implement the healthy boundary building beliefs and behaviors in your life so that your space, privacy and rights are no longer ignored or violated.

23 Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries

 1. Telling all

2. Talking at an intimate level on the first meeting.

3. Falling in love with a new acquaintance.

4. Falling in love with anyone who reaches out.

5. Being overwhelmed by a person – preoccupied

6. Acting on first sexual impulse

7. Going against personal values or rights to please others

8. Not noticing when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries.

9. Not noticing when someone invades your boundaries.

10. Accepting food, gifts, touch, sex that you don’t want.

11. Touching a person without asking.

12. Taking as much as you can get for the sake of getting.

13. Giving as much as you can give for the sake of giving.

14. Allowing someone to take as much as they can from you.

15. Letting others direct your life.

16. Letting others describe your reality.

17. Letting others define you.

18. Believing others can anticipate your needs.

19. Expecting others to fill your needs automatically.

20. Falling apart so someone will take care of you.

21. Self-abuse.

22. Sexual and physical abuse.

23. Food abuse.

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